I've struggled for the past few months to really find my purpose here and have questioned many times if I made the right decision to move and not take Matthew up on his offer to stay in Texas. I've been here 3 months now, still haven't found a job, still looking for a church, still doing this, still doing that and it's really been weighing me down. I question and I ask Why. Why haven't I found a job, why do I feel the way I do when I should just be thankful I'm finally with my husband. Lots of questions and very little answers.
I have started to get involved in different areas around here. I joined the Spouse's Club on Langley and I've been attending the meetings of the ships FRG (Family Readiness Group). In the past few weeks I have been totally surrounded with people who just want to offer friendships, love, and support. I have had opportunities present themselves that I never thought I would be up to doing and yet, I WANT to do them. I want to be a stepping stone for other spouses and be able to offer encouragement and support like so many have offered me.
It really hit me today that maybe my purpose isn't to engage myself in a job that is going to run me ragged and make me miserable, but maybe it's to pour into others that need someone who understands where they are coming from. Who's been there and knows how hard it is. Maybe my purpose is to find a simple rewarding job but then to become involved in organizations that provide those things to those who need it. I don't know. I still don't have all the answers, but I'm starting to see things in a different light and I like it. I've been so down about not finding a job that I have forgotten the real reason why I'm here.
- To support my husband who sacrifices everything for his job and country.
- To have pride for him and for his command.
- To grow with him and strengthen our marriage and
- to let everything else fall into place.
I have been surrounded by some of the most supporting and compassionate people I have ever known. Those who have been in this a lot longer than I have and who are truly holding my hand and bringing me into the "Military Family". Who are helping build those friendships that I am going to cherish for many, many years. Who welcome you with open arms no matter who you are. Who support the deployed sailors and their families and truly care about their needs. Who want to make our men and women feel appreciated for their sacrifices. It's a whole new world that I'm experiencing here and although this ride is far from over, I'm glad I got on. I'm glad I took that step to move and grab a seat on this crazy ride we call Military Life and I wouldn't get off for anything.
Yes, I still need to find a job, I still need to get things together, I still need to learn a lot, and I still need to keep my eyes open to new challenges, but if there is one thing I have learned the past few weeks, it's I don't have to stop living until all those things happen. There is a plan and a purpose for my life and I just need to enjoy the ride. : )
1 comment:
Very well put! I am so glad there are so many other spouses there that you feel like you can lean on. You are so fortunate to have that. I know it is really, REALLY hard sometimes, especially when you are pulled away from the life you have always known. I too have struggled several times with what my purpose should be at each duty station, but God has taught me that everywhere we go is a growing experience. Being so far away from family forces you and your husband to lean on each other. You are your own family now and you will be stronger in the end if you have the right attitude. Your children will grow up with the ablity to adapt better than other kids to new situations, and you will simply have a better understanding of life. I am glad you moved there, I think you are benefiting so much as a person from stepping outside of your box! I know its hard right now finding your place, but it is all that more reason to rely on God and trust that He knows what he is doing! And you know you always have someone to talk to who goes through the same stuff! Much love! -A
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